Goodbye, sweet boy
Our very good boy Cosmo crossed over the rainbow bridge on Tuesday. I miss him so much. From age 3, when we brought him home from a rescue group, to age 14, he brought joy and amusement and comfort to our lives.
Cosmo was a sweet, excitable, eager-to-please, 3-year-old pup described as a bichon frisé mix when we adopted him. He quickly settled into our lives and our hearts. A squeaky hedgehog and a snake toy were his favorite playthings, and he delighted in parading those around and play-bowing to get us to chase him. He eluded us lumbering humans with ease, toying with us. But if we ever managed to snatch a toy away, he’d freeze, watching intently and waiting for us to throw it, and then he’d sprint after it. Other times he’d impassively observe the stolen toy bouncing down the hall. Game over!
Cosmo was my constant companion in the garden — if the weather was cool. Hot weather was unacceptable to him — one of the many bonds of sympathy between us — and he’d whine and scratch at the door to be let in even if I was busily digging in the dirt, sweat dripping from my nose. He was no fool.
When I built seat walls in the back garden, he delighted in leaping onto them and perching like the king of the castle. I missed seeing him do this in later years, as his hips and back started giving him trouble.
Cosmo was sturdily built, with soft and curly white fur, and he often seemed to be smiling.
He enjoyed being off-leash in dog-friendly parks and while going to check the mailbox with me, and he never ran away. If he wandered too far, as soon as I called to him he’d stop and look at me and then turn to rejoin me — slowly perhaps, with an air of reluctance. But if I patted my knee and encouraged him with a high-pitched, “Come on, boy!” he’d wag and smile and run over to me.
In addition to Come, he obeyed Sit, Stay, and Down, training that some previous owner had imparted. I always hoped he’d been well loved in his life before us, and that he was a rescue only because his person had reluctantly given him up — maybe to go into assisted living, I imagined, or maybe it was someone who passed away. He was happy and well behaved and even had vet records from his puppy years when we adopted him, so surely he was loved as a little guy. He just needed someone new to love him, and we did.
Cosmo was a champion napper, but with one ear always cocked for the refrigerator door opening. Sandwich-making sounds would bring him trotting into the kitchen, but not for a bite of ham or cheese. He lived for a crunchy leaf of lettuce above all other foods. He also relished raw carrots, broccoli, and green pepper — anything with a good crunch. He turned up his nose, however, at chunks of apple or zucchini. Kale, arugula, and spinach were also sore disappointments, left limp and slobber-soaked on the tile floor.
Although he disliked the heat of the Death Star, he’d often lie by the fireplace, especially if someone else was lying there too.
He adored his grandma, who kept him at her place with her own dog, Lola, when we traveled. The car ride over was great fun, arrival was fun, and especially fun was that Grandma didn’t mind dogs on the couch or bed. He was a lucky pup to have such a doting grandma.
While “let’s go check the mail” and “let’s go for a car ride” were joyous phrases, Cosmo’s absolute favorite was “let’s go for a walk!” He trotted eagerly around the block or, on especially happy occasions, around Lady Bird Lake. Squirrels, deer, and rabbits were invisible to him. I never saw him display any interest whatsoever in common neighborhood critters, even when I pointed them out. I tried siccing him on rock squirrels in the backyard when they showed up, to no avail. Only once did I see him rrrrrrruff and charge at an animal — just last month, actually: an armadillo rustling around the Mexican honeysuckle one night when I took him out before bed. How odd, I thought, watching with surprise. He lost interest, however, as soon as the ‘dillo trundled under the shrubbery.
Toward the end he began to lose his balance and tripped on the stairs inside and out. His back legs trembled from time to time. A ramp helped for a while, as did other compensatory measures for other old-age problems.
He experienced a swift decline this fall, and eventually we had to say goodbye. It was so hard. I keep looking for his face in the window when I’m outside, listening for his sharp bark when a UPS delivery arrives, waiting for his tip-tapping into the kitchen when I open the lettuce bin, expecting to feel his warm fur when I put my feet down beside the bed in the morning. When I’m running errands I look at the clock and think, “How long has Cosmo been waiting for me to come home?” And then I remember that he’s not waiting anymore.
I want to remember him like this, in his prime, happy and healthy. I know that eventually it’ll get easier. He was a good dog, and he was ours. And we were his.
__________________________
Digging Deeper
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Such a beautiful tribute. May his memory be a blessing.
Reading about your dear sweet Cosmo’s memories brought happiness & same time, tears of sadness for you & your family. What a beautiful & fitting tribute to a beloved dog. How your family along with Cosmo all benefitted & enriched each other is totally awesome. Please keep the faith & he will be waiting for you @ Rainbow Bridge & meantime, playing with other furry paw friends. Sincerely, Mija
I’m so very sorry for your loss – it’s truly one of the hardest things to experience.
Please accept my condolences for the loss of your sweet Cosmo. It sounds like you gave him a wonderful life and I hope that is some comfort to you.
Oh, this brought tears to my eyes. The love and companionship of a beloved dog make every day better and their loss so much more heartbreaking. I hope that you find comfort and joy in the happy memories of Cosmo.
My condolences Pam. Losing a beloved four legged family member is a hurt like no other. I hope you’ll find comfort in many beautiful memories of your dear Cosmo.
Oh, Pam, our hearts are with you. What a sweet boy he was, bringing joy into your world. Rest in peace dear Cosmo. You gave him a fantastic doggie life.
So sorry for your lose. Cosmo was a sweetheart.
What a lovely tribute to a special family member, I’m sure this was so difficult to write. I am crying now, as it brings back the memories of the dogs and cats that are no longer with us that I still miss! I always loved seeing him in your pics, you could tell he was a treasured companion. May your grief be eased by knowing Cosmo is no longer in any pain.
“And then I remember that he’s not waiting anymore”… I’d managed to not tear-up until I read that line. I know that feeling all to well. I am so sorry! But what a life he had, I am so glad I got to meet the sweet guy and spend a little time with him. Hugs on you.
This was so lovely a testament to all our beloved cats and dogs (and other creatures as well!). Thank you for sharing your story of loss so lovingly and eloquently.
Pam, we send you a loving hug at this time of grief===it is the price we pay for the love they shower upon us. My 2 look a lot like your little guy but are much smaller & I felt my heart tug as I read of your loss—understanding every single word completely. One of mine has cancer & one a serious heart issue so we walk closely behind you.
May our creator God comfort you and may you live in the love Cosmos left behind.
My heart goes out to you in the loss of your Cosmo. I have been through it a few times and it is SO hard. They say it’s the price of love but we are blessed to experience such love.
I feel for you and your family—it’s deeply sad to lose a dog. Bless Cosmo and you.
Dogs are pack animals. You were his “pack”. Turning loss into gratitude helps. You “belonged” for so many years.
Oh that hurts. I was pleased to see him every time he made an appearance your photos.–I’m a dog nut. Cosmos was special. I’m so very sorry, Pam.
Aw that made me sniff. Such a good boy.
Pam, I am sorry for your loss of Cosmo, but your post about him was so full of joy it had me smiling. So much love shared between you, such a lucky match between a rescue dog and his rescuer. A long and happy life for him and a long time for you to enjoy such stellar companionship.
Thank you for sharing his charming photos and y’all’s story and reminding us what happiness a companion animal can bring.
Such a lovely and touching tribute to Cosmo; I will miss seeing him in your posts. May your sweet memories of him bring you comfort, Pam.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet Cosmo, Pam, and I’ll miss seeing his cute, fuzzy mug in your posts. Our pets bring so much to our lives, and it’s always heartbreaking to see them go. And rescue dogs seem to be the best – they really seem to appreciate and reciprocate the love so much, in my experience. I’m glad you have such wonderful photos to remind you of all the happy times, and I know he’ll live on in your hearts. Big hugs to you.
This is the most painful goodbye! May he live forever in your loving memories of him.
Such a beautiful friend you had in Cosmo. I feel your pain. I had a rescue Shnauzzer named Lucy that we adopted at 18 months and she passed at age 15, 3 years ago. Your memories of Cosmo mirrored mine with Lucy. It took me 3 years to adopt another dog, “Candy” from a shelter and she has been with us almost 4 months. She now has a forever home with us. She is a small mixed terrier and looks nothing like our beloved Lucy, but still I sometimes call her Lucy. We love her, and let her know it (but she is not allowed on the furniture nor the bed (neither was Lucy). But I held Lucy and now Candy on my lap when I am sitting for a period of time. I am sorry for your loss.
I have read your blog for many years. Just this past week I wondered how your little white dog was doing. It seemed to me it had been awhile since he was in one of your photos. How strange. I don’t recall ever thinking of him before.
I know what you are feeling. I still ache for my past animal companions. I am sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing Cosmo in this beautiful post.
That’s a wonderful testimonial to your beloved Cosmo, Pam. His personality was evident in every photo you’ve shown of him. He had a loving home with you and your family, which is the best thing any dog can hope for. I’m very sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss, Pam. He was so fortunate to have you for a doggo mama. Hugs.
What a nice tribute to your friend! Sounds like he deserved every word. And who says he’s not still waiting for you — that would be heaven indeed, to meet up with our furry friends again!
I’m so sorry! What a great dog!
So sorry for your loss!!
Pam, this is Laura , June’s good friend and I was fortunate.enough to visit with Cosmo when June babysat. What a beautiful dog! What a tribute you wrote. My heart goes out to you and your.family. how blessed you are to have wonderful memories. I like June believe he’s chasing buttterflies in heaven
I wish you and your family well wishes.
A generous, tear inducing post. Cosmo had a wonderful life thank to you being in it.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Chavli
Cosmo was so fortunate to have you for a family. Dogs are the best – I hope the memories bring comfort.
I’m in love with Cosmo. What a very good boy and most excellent companion. My sincere condolences, Pam.
Thank you for sharing this post. It’s one of the loveliest tributes I’ve ever read for human or animal. I’ll miss seeing his occasional but endearing appearance in posts, and (as a dog owner myself) I know he will be so dearly missed by your family. How lucky you were to have each other.
This is beautiful tribute! How lucky for your family and for Cosmo to have shared such a love and enjoyment of each other. So sorry for your loss. The pain is real!
What a beautiful tribute to your sweet boy. I think giving up our beloved pets when the time comes is one of the hardest things we ever have to face. It’s a decision we hate to make, but one we know will come when we take a wonderful animal into our lives. Cosmo was a fortunate dog because you gave him a wonderful life. My condolences to you and your family.
I’m very sorry for your loss. These are beautiful worlds for a loved one. Lovely memories and time will help.
Well, now I’m crying. What a lovely tribute, and what a wonderful life you gave him.
I’m so sorry about Cosmo, Pam – your tribute showed how much you loved that little guy! I’m happy you have such good memories, and cute photos, of him. Bless his heart!
I’m so sorry, Pam. What a precious member of your family and what sweet words you gave on his behalf. My best to you and your family
Sweet, beautiful tribute to Cosmo. I am so sorry for your loss and because we have been where you are now, we feel your pain.
I can’t say anything that hasn’t been already said. Thank you for sharing your experiences with Cosmo with us. God gives us some great gifts for our time here on earth. Wishing you a great replacement for Cosmo’s part in your life when you are ready.
To love and be loved by a furry friend is one of life’s greatest joys, isn’t it? I’m sorry about your dear Cosmo. What a cutie pie he was! You will miss him for a long time, undoubtedly. I had Miss Maggie, my Siamese alley cat, from 5 weeks to 18 years. She left an unfillable hole in my heart, as Cosmo will in your’s. I loved hearing about his time in your life.
What a beautiful and heartbreaking tribute, Pam. Thank you for being vulnerable enough to share. We are not too far from having to say good-bye to our own good boy. I cherish every single day we get to spend with him. Our dogs are a view of what unconditional love must look like. Hugs to you.
What a beautiful tribute to your adorable, furry friend. Thank you for sharing the story of his time living with you and the charming photos. So very sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry to read this news. I have really enjoyed seeing Cosmo’s appearances over the years in your photos. The loss of a beloved friend is so very hard. Thank you for sharing him and his story with us.
So sorry that this happened. What a beautiful story you wrote about Cosmo. What a great life he had! I know you will miss him, but take comfort in your wonderful memories.
Pam, I’m so sorry to hear about Cosmo’s passing! (I just found this post as I was going through old emails). My heart is heavy for you as I know the loss of a beloved dog. They fill our lives with unconditional love and we are blessed with that love like no other. May Cosmo’s sweet memories be yours forever.
Hugs, Melody
My sympathies on your loss. Cosmo is missed from Cape town too.
(Our cats have always been rescues, and we wonder about their previous lives – Thomas took 6 weeks before we could approach without him hitting us away)