Naysayers
Are naysayers haunting your footsteps in the garden?
Is a helpful neighbor telling you that your soil is too rocky, the deer are too voracious, the grass was better than the perennial garden or vegetable beds you have in mind?
Does a well-meaning friend shake her head every time she comes over and sees your progress, saying, “Boy, that looks like so much work”?
Or maybe the naysayers live in your own head? They whisper, “You don’t know what you’re doing. What will the neighbors think? What if you mess up?” They will paralyze you if you listen.
Instead, believe in yourself. Take that first small step, and then take another.
Start digging.
Know that you’ll make plenty of mistakes…
…and trust that you’ll learn from them.
Remember to enjoy each little success…
…and believe that you will have more.
Soon enough you’ll turn those naysayers into yea-sayers.
Happy gardening!
All material © 2006-2010 by Pam Penick for Digging. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited.
Yep, I have had to deal with a few of those nay sayers. Go away I say. As Vincent Van Gogh said “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” Keep on digging I say.
Great quote, Lisa. More shopworn but still true is the phrase I grew up hearing: Rome wasn’t built in a day. —Pam
I like this post very much. Thank you!
My pleasure, Lee. —Pam
Are you kidding that you ripped out all that jasmine BY YOURSELF?! Eek, that would kill me. I can’t wait to see what it looks like and what the neighbors say. Hee, hee. 🙂
No, indeed, Jean. I know when to dig, and I know when to hire diggers. I hired a two-man crew to dig out that jasmine, and they did a great job at a reasonable price. I did put in the stepping-stone path and 4 yards of soil myself though. —Pam
What a delightful (photo) pep talk… well argued!
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Eliza. We all need a pep talk now and then. —Pam
That front garden before and after is WOW! I am always amused by people who carry on about how much work gardening is-but I am in no fear of hard work that gives results one is happy with.
Some people love that kind of work, and some don’t. It doesn’t feel like drudgery if you love to garden and enjoy the process or are very motivated by seeing results (for me, both). —Pam
Oh how I love your front garden! And naysayers and rulemakers are such a pet peeve: I wouldn’t have a pond or a work-in-progress meadow if I’d listened!
Former front garden, but thanks! Good for you for forging on with your pond and meadow, Cyndy. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right? —Pam
Great post, Pam! I’m such a sucker for before-during-after photos.
I love them too, Iris. I wish I had more “after” photos for my new garden, but that will require some time. 😉 —Pam
I really needed this post. Because after the drought, the freezes and yes, my many mistakes, I am definitely feeling that head-shaking ‘what was she thinking?” neighbor vibe, ESPECIALLY in regard to the front yard. Thanks for letting me know it will all be OK!
It can be so hard to start gardening out front, with all those eyes watching, especially if you’re in a conservative neighborhood. Being a good neighbor is important, but so is pleasing yourself with a garden YOU love. Getting there takes time, especially through the challenging weather conditions Austin has had for the past couple of years. I’m thinking positively: this year is BOUND to be a good one. —Pam
I know one of my neighbors thinks I am crazy and right now she may just be right. Enough said!
You must be ripping and rearranging, Jenny. Have fun! I can’t wait to see the result of the makeover. —Pam
Good post, especially for those new to gardening. Your “before and after” examples are fantastic.
Cameron
PS I’ve had a neighbor tell me that I have too many flowers. Say what? She moved to Texas, so I’m off the hook. I don’t think she moved to your neighborhood.
Neighbors will say the strangest things and offer unsolicited criticism, won’t they? All you can do is smile and wave goodbye, explaining that you have gardening to do. —Pam
Dynamic, deer-resistant garden! Love that! That’s our mantra, for sure. And I love the new look – it’s so light and airy and open. It will be beautiful.
Thanks, Diana. I mean for it to be! It won’t be so open once the plants fill in, of course, and I still have more plants to purchase or divide for the space. —Pam
Oh how I wish my new garden was moving at the same pace as yours Pam. The island bed without the boring jasmine already looks better. Even I have those moments of it’s too much work, just let it be natural. The little voice in my head always says you know better than that because puttering always adds up and you can’t stop puttering.
Your cozy cabin must take precedence for now, Christopher, but you’ve already made good progress on your garden. Regarding your “it’s too much work” inner critic, I definitely struggle against that voice too. Mine says, “You probably won’t be living in this house more than 10 years. Why bother?” Of course my mental reply, like yours, is, “Because I must.” —Pam
Both before and afters (or I guess the second one isn’t really “after” yet) are so inspiring. I do sometimes hear those voices. A lot of time they’re saying “what were you thinking!”
Yeah, I get that one at the start of a big project sometimes. Most often, though, it’s spoken aloud by my DH. 😉 —Pam
I get the, “What are you doing now?” “Do you know that you still have on your slippers?” “Just where do you buy your clothes?” Two months later…….”What is that plant?” “Your yard has more color than any other in the neighborhood.” My favorite….(when the flowers are in full bloom) “You look so cute in your gardening clothes.” Pam, Your yard is just beautiful………just beautiful!
I’m chuckling over your neighbor’s comments, Darla. “Just where do you buy your clothes?” Too funny! It sounds like you’ve won him or her over though. —Pam
Awesome, Pam. Don’t listen to any “other” voice except your own. Only you know what works best.
Or if I don’t, I can always pick up and start over again. There are no permanent mistakes in gardening (short of cutting down a big tree), which is very freeing. 🙂 —Pam
Excellent post Pam! I am lucky to have neighbors that leave me alone. I just have to watch out for my inner critic. She’s a tough one! gail
Yes, our inner critic can be the toughest of all. We must tune her out and forge on. –Pam
People thought I was crazy when I decided to get rid of a dozen azaleas that had been there for more than 20 years. They were blocking the view to my new Japanese maples in the new Japanese garden, so they had to go! I wish I had done it sooner – those huge azaleas (that I cut down to 4 foot every year) were a black hole in my yard.
Bold moves can have tremendous payoffs. Good for you for being bold, despite the neighbors’ opinions, and reaping the reward in your garden, Melody. —Pam
There are times when I truly think I am mentally ill for gardening up my tiny space the way that I have. The neighbors however are very supportive. LOL.
Ha! You’re not crazy, Chuck, just a crazed gardener. With your mild climate, awesome palette of plants to choose from, and limited growing space, who could blame you for wanting to “garden up” your space? —Pam
Yeah, the LAST place you want to invite your critic to participate is in the garden, which is more than likely the sanctuary you turn to to get AWAY from the critical voices that we invariably encounter in the world at large! 🙂 You illustrate here your ability to re-envision a large area, and then make it happen. Not exactly a wilting petunia, you Woman, you! 🙂 Thanks for being the Inspired Gardener that you are, Pam. xoxo
Thanks for that, Kathryn. I try not to be a wilting petunia, though I do require shade and water in summer not to wilt in our heat. 😉 —Pam
Hi Pam.
I love to see before and after shots, it looks like you are making great progress with your garden. My front garden/hell-strip-digging escapades are now causing cars to slow down as they pass…I even got a cheer last weekend! A cheer! You are absolutely right…get digging. People tend to choose the path of least resistance and when some see somebody working like a maniac, going against the planting norm, they like to point silent fingers and whisper quiet criticisms because, well, because they would never do anything like that themselves, and deep down they are just a tiny bit jealous! Makes me want to dig even more!
Keep up the great work, cannot wait to see your garden in the flesh.
ESP.
I love that you got a cheer, ESP! Thank heavens not a raspberry, right? When I used to work on a neighborhood entry garden, people would stop to say thanks and even hand me money for the upkeep. So people can be very supportive of changes. It’s good to remember those instances and forget the rest. —Pam
Wow! That is just amazing progress (and I’ve always worried about people that say ‘isn’t that alot of work?’ – they’ve obviously not gardeners). Oh, and those agaves…
Thanks, Pam, it’s coming along. I’ll show more pics after I get the new garden all planted up. —Pam
What a great post!
My naysayers tell me, “Why do you give yourself so much work? Don’t you have enough plants?” and the naysayer in my head says, “The neighbors will think you’re eccentric.” or “You’ve gone off the deep end this time.” BUT, I enjoy gardening SO MUCH and everything else that goes with it. 🙂
“Why do you give yourself so much work?” I hear that inner critic too, Laura, from time to time. But when the work leads to results like a garden you love, it’s well worth it. —Pam
So true. Nicely done, with great visuals. Sometimes I am my own worst naysayer. When I look at what is left to dig, weed, amend, etc. I can feel overwhelmed. But it’s so true, that once you put shovel to soil it all falls into place from there.
It’s wonderful when it all begins to “flow,” and time flies by without your even realizing it. That’s when garden work is not really work at all. Of course sometimes there’s just plain drudgery (for me, that’s pulling weeds), but the results are well worth it. —Pam
Well, Pam – your new front garden will be lovely and I’m glad you are not giving in, but can’t help wishing there had been a NaySayer around to stop all those people who planted Asiatic Jasmine in the first place~ hate it!!!! It’s most rampant here where 3 yards meet at a corner so would take concerted effort by all owners at the same time to remove it. You had to work hard to get it out, but at least your project was in your own realm ;-]
Cameron’s remark caught my attention because I’ve heard similar stuff over the past decade : “there shouldn’t be all those flowers and things in the front yard…it looks like South Austin”. A charming front flower garden called forth “It’s tacky” & “my husband would be turning over in his grave if he saw what the new people did to the Blanks’ beautiful lawn.” And as for plants and shrubs that go dormant? Only trees are allowed to lose leaves in the front yard. The other stuff should be evergreen. Not everyone around here is like that, but there sure are a heck of a lot of uptight people.
Annie at the Transplantable Rose
“And as for plants and shrubs that go dormant? Only trees are allowed to lose leaves in the front yard. The other stuff should be evergreen.” That’s a pet peeve of mine too, Annie. Those same naysayers will tsk-tsk if you don’t cut your plants back right after the first hard freeze. I’m still chuckling over your comment about needing naysayers to stop the planting of Asian jasmine. —Pam
Your pictures and prose matched up really well. I thought the post was very encouraging. When I ripped up the front lawn, cars definitely slowed down and the occasional neighbor would pop by and see what I was up to, but no outright criticism thank goodness. You should have seen their faces when I started trucking in the gravel and building the front fence and arbor though. Turned out great, but alas, no neighbors took the hint and did anything with their front yards….
Christine in Alaska
I bet you did get some double-takes when you started ripping up the lawn. That’s a biggie for many people. Good for you for having the courage of your convictions! —Pam
Hi Pam
Good thinking. It’s all up to you. Here in Sweden we have a winter that we newer had have for 100 years. It seems that it will newer ends.
Ken
Whew, I bet that’s a snowy winter for you guys. We had a winter in Austin that we hadn’t had for 20 years. It was cold this year everywhere, it seems. Hang in there for spring! —Pam
Pam, I’ve been following your blog for awhile with great interest…and have “stolen” a couple of ideas from you. (Stock tank planters, for one! Wonder how many other Pam inspired stock tank planters there are out there?) And wanted to say to Annie in Austin…as a born and raised South Austinite, if someone said to me “It looks like South Austin”, I would say, Why thank you!
I hope there are many “Pam inspired stock tank planters,” Kelly. That would be very flattering indeed. I’m so glad it was an idea that worked for you too. —Pam
yes, they think you are crazy doing “all that work” but, they really enjoy the results. thanks for that post.
My pleasure, Carol. —Pam
“To be sensible is to be commonplace. To be commonplace is unpardonable.” – Margaret Gehrke
Nice quote, Monica. I do actually quite value being sensible. But I also believe in dreaming big and finding ways to make it happen. —Pam
Pam — I’m not sure I ever saw any images of the transformation of your former front yard. Those are pretty spectacular before and after views! I would hope some neighbors contacted you for advice or you got some design jobs from “drive-bys.” What an inspiration — and worth all the efforts.
Thanks, Linda. My former neighbors were very supportive and encouraging, and I did get some referrals from it. —Pam
Such a great post! I think some people lack the imagination to picture what a garden can look like without grass. Your photos show how beautiful they can be!
Thanks, Noelle. You’re right that it’s hard for some people to imagine what a yard could look like without a lawn. But even just shrinking the lawn can make such a huge difference, giving it definition and creating room for plants around the perimeter. —Pam
Enjoyed your post, Pam. I think that is where I got my blog title…Go Away, I’m Gardening! 🙂 Shortly after we moved in our new house, I pulled up all of the builder’s new landscaping in the front and replaced it. I’m know my neighbors were wondering what the heck I was doing.
You have made wonderful changes to your landscaping! Your hard work and personality shows. I enjoy seeing the changes you are making!
I bet you got some raised eyebrows, Amy, but way to go for forging ahead with your vision. Your results are bound to turn your naysayers into yea-sayers. —Pam
This post got me excited for spring to come and start digging!
Jake
Come on, Spring! Happy digging, Jake. —Pam
I love the before and after shots. Seeing the changes that your current garden is undergoing is wonderfully encouraging, as I tend to do something, and then leave it alone. The naysayer I have to deal with is my husband, who loves his lawn and doesn’t look kindly on my attempts at encroachment.
I get that from my kids sometimes, MMD. But other times they take great pride in the garden. I hope your DH eventually comes around when he sees your results. Can he be happy with a lawnette? —Pam
Pam! I hope you and your family and friends are safe from the “airplane into building” in Austin this morning!!
We’re all safe, Cheryl. Thanks for asking. —Pam
thanks for the encouragement and inspiration! your garden is gorgeous. you’ve renewed my resolve to remove some more vinca and continue to rejuvenate my front yard. i’ve had all those doubts and what-will-the-neighbors-say thoughts but mostly i’ve been smiled at and complimented when i’m out there working. hopefully they’re not thinking, “well it’s about time somebody did something to that yard.” 😀
Ha! I didn’t even think of that possibility, Daricia. 🙂 Good luck with your garden plans. Damn the torpedoes. Full steam ahead! —Pam
Your new ‘island’ is looking great. I’d like to do something like that, with mine. At least, it’s vinca, not the dreaded asian jasmine. That stuff should be banned…lol.
My island will have to wait. I have too many other areas being remodeled, right now. Time, energy and budget are determining what gets done.
My neighbors are kind. They smile knowingly, when I plant my next ‘deer resistant’ plant. They know, in this neighborhood, the deer are the ones in control. But, I’ve hit on a few things they leave alone. For the time being, anyway.
Keep up the cheerleading. We all need it.
If there are deer, they are always in control. 🙂 I’m sure I will do some experimenting to see what they favor versus what they don’t. What deer will eat can differ from neighborhood to neighborhood, as you know. I’m glad you’ve found things that work for your garden, Linda. —Pam
Wow, the new front is spectacular! And sorry, I can’t bear to read the coyote post after the warning.
Thanks, Linda. That coyote picture would not have been easy for an animal lover like yourself to see. I’m glad you skipped it. —Pam
Pam, what a great post! And your message goes beyond gardening to life. We all need encouragement sometimes.
I especially loved the picture of a foot on a stepping stone path through some water. Lovely symbolism.
That was taken in the Japanese garden at Zilker Botanical Garden, Kathleen. Have you taken that path across the pond? —Pam
They are definitely in my head Pam! I know I’m not living where I want to stay forever so I’m terrified if I change things too much, it will hurt resale value. I don’t know why I can’t have more confidence. Great post topic tho. I’ll be thinking about it in the coming days.
Well, resale value is nothing to sneeze at. But who really knows where we’ll be in the next few years, much less 10 or 20 years down the road? At least, that’s what I tell myself when the old “I’ll probably move one day” voice whispers in my ear. —Pam
Thanks for the encouraging post, Pam! You are so right. What are we afraid of 😉
Onward through the fog! (I love that quote.) Thanks for commenting, Ellie. —Pam
YES, YES, YES. Right along the lines of me deciding I am a yardener and feeling proud of it.
Yardener, gardener: they’re just words. What matters is doing what you love in the garden and enjoying both the process and the results. After that, it doesn’t matter what you call it. I can tell from reading your blog that you get a LOT of enjoyment from your process and creativity outdoors, Mamaholt. Rock on. —Pam
I know what you mean.
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? —Pam
As usual, I’m reading backwards, which is common when I get too busy with the writing-that-pays-the-bills, Pam. This is another fabulous post.
I guess I’m really lucky–living where I do, in a very rural locale, I don’t have neighbours right THERE beside me. The nearest one is a quarter mile or more up the road, and not a gardener, plus a lot of our place is sheltered from nosy eyes on the road by a variety of trees and shrubs. This is a combination of collector’s and trial garden, so it’s not a formal design and to some it might look like botanical chaos (if they’re the kind who like a traditional foundation-planting and rows of annuals, especially!)
But even if I did have naysayers around me, I’d be oblivious to them. My job as a speaker and garden columnist for numerous publications is to be a cheerleader for other gardeners, so I’m all about encouraging others, poking fun at my own challenges (goutweed! inability to get yellow hollyhocks!), and having fun with gardening. Even when I get the sour, condescending, know it all types at garden talks (you know the kind I mean, they’re rare in numbers but almost every talk has one) who wants to challenge everything I talk about, I just smile and say something like, “Gosh, you’re very skilled to be able to do everything so well. Your garden must be splendid.I’d love to see it!” Which is what they want. Those who put others down often do so out of a need to make themselves look better. Which is kind of sad, but I won’t fight them, nor will I be one of them. If I even show hints of starting to become one, please kick me in the butt.
The critic in my OWN head? I feed her cookies. She can’t talk with her mouth full. 🙂
Thanks for your comment, Jodi. I’m still cracking up over your soothing comment for naysayers at your garden talks. And about feeding your inner critic cookies to shut her up. You have a disarming approach, obviously. I love it. —Pam
I had some rough moments, mostly with the community association, in the beginning and the Executive Producer has only rarely agreed with my vision for the gardens. But in recent years, both the yard police and the EP have begun to appreciate the beauty and value of an unconventional landscape. I’m fortunate in that my neighbors have been very supportive and other neighborhood residents are, as well. I think sometimes it’s a learning process and I feel certain your naysayers will come to appreciate your efforts. The new front areas are already looking great!
Not all of the naysaying examples I gave were mine, Cindy. My new neighbors are, by and large, very supportive also. But I’ve heard enough stories over the years to bring this post to life. Lucky you to have supportive neighbors as well. —Pam
I *love* your former front garden. How beautiful.
Thank you, Sweet Bay. —Pam
I am so glad I happened on this post of your blog. This is exactly what we want to do with our tiny, grass doesn’t grow well front yard. I’ve been nervous to do it but now I think I have the confidence. Can’t wait to show the man of the house!
I’ll be back!
Go for it, Kim! It’s only grass, and your yard is for you to enjoy. Good luck, and happy digging. —Pam
Your before and after photos are so dramatic, Pam! As for the “naysayers”, I don’t even hear them any more. I just plan the work, then work the plan. 🙂
Good for you, Nancy. Tuning them out is the key to unleashing your creativity. —Pam
How did you manage to suspend the stepping stones in your pond?
That’s not my pond, Nick, but one at Zilker Botanical Garden in Austin. I don’t know how the “floating” stepping stones were constructed. —Pam