Speaking in public: a garden club talk
Yesterday evening I gave a talk on “creating a woodland edge” at the invitation of Gracywoods Garden Club. I’d just returned from Tanzania last July—my bag sitting, still packed and covered with African dust, on the bedroom floor—when I received their kind invitation. Public speaking has never come easy to me, and I was literally terrified when I had to do it in college, but after thinking it over for a day or so I said yes. “Every day, do something that scares you” is a motto I try to live up to. Traveling to Africa had scared me a little, but it had turned out to be a wonderful adventure. I hoped to say the same of my first public speaking engagement.
So I got my kids to show me how to use PowerPoint and started creating a slide show about designing a naturalistic semi-shade border with mostly native plants. The months passed, and when I had a spare hour I tinkered with my presentation. Then April arrived, and the Spring Fling monopolized my brain for at least a week—and then the whirlwind was over, and I realized I had to stand up and talk in front of strangers in just a matter of days. I won’t say that panic set in, but I was certainly nervous. I read and reread Trey Pitsenberger’s advice (and the wonderful comments too) about public speaking, and then Thursday came and I drove off to meet the nice folks who’d trusted me not to bore them to death for 45 minutes.
Trey says, “So many people miss out on the great things in life because of fear. Think about how great you will feel when it’s all done and it’s achieved the results you wanted.” When I returned from Tanzania, many people told me they wouldn’t have gone: flying over the ocean is too scary; a hot-air balloon ride is too risky; what if terrorists, diseases, or lions get you? I understand those fears (and share some of them), but I never for a minute considered not going when I had the chance. I tried to approach the garden-club talk the same way, though I think I was actually more nervous about speaking “as an expert” in front of those 13 or 14 gardeners than getting on a plane by myself to fly to the other side of the world.
But you know what? Trey was right, and once I got up there and started sharing a few design suggestions and my favorite plants, I found there was plenty to talk about and the time flew. The club members were friendly and welcoming and interested in knowing more about the plants I recommended. They even gave me this pretty birdhouse as a thank-you gift. I hope to have introduced myself to a few future clients by pushing past my fear to give the talk. And whether that happens or not, I know it was good to face my fear.
Last weekend at the Spring Fling, I asked our speaker, Tom Spencer, whether giving as many talks as he does makes it any easier—whether he’s lost the fear of public speaking. “You never want to lose all the fear,” he said. “That’s what keeps you sharp.” I’m paraphrasing, but that’s how I understood his advice. It’s comforting, don’t you think, to know that you don’t have to be fearless to try something scary? You just have to push through the fear, transcend it—and suddenly you’ve become the kind of person who’ll ride in a hot-air balloon over the Serengeti or stand up in a room full of eyes and share the little bit you know with them.
What are you planning to do today (or this year) that scares you?
All material © 2006-2008 by Pam Penick for Digging. Unauthorized reproduction prohibited.
Pam,
This is a lovely post…and how wonderful that you are embracing your fear and not collapsing into it…then you get to experience all the juiciness of life.
Gail
Thanks, Gail. —Pam
Great thoughts, Pam, and helpful. Congrats on your talk. I’m sure it was informative and fun for all.
On my scary to do list is finding a physician. Mine retired so I need to get a new one and go get a check up (routine) so they can see me when I’m normal, or at least not crazy or sick. I got a list of references, checked against my insurance, got up my gumption and called one for an appointment. Egad, she “isn’t taking new patients” though her website clearly says otherwise.
So now I have fear of rejection on top of fear of doctors! But gotta get on to it. How about Monday?!
I agree—doctor visits, especially new ones, can be quite scary indeed. Good luck, Julie. Monday sounds good. —Pam
I like that, “Every day do something that scares you”. Yep, that’s a good one to live by. Congrats on pushing through your fear and speaking to that garden club. I’ve done that before and once you get going it’s actually fun. I bet you were a big hit!
I know you recently did something scary too, didn’t you, Carol? Flying to Austin to meet a bunch of semi-strangers was no small feat. —Pam
True, true words Pam! I think that’s a wonderful motto to live by! Every time I go to teach a class I get a bit anxious, and it does keep you sharp. I still remember 8 years ago when I taught my first college class, only being 5 years older than them, I almost vomited a billion times the few days before, and a zillion times that morning. Awful! But it’s been rewarding ever since, as most scary things tend to be! Tomorrow I’m gonna let that black and yellow garden spider crawl on me. Not.
I’m with you on the spider thing, Benjamin. But I’m impressed that you can set aside your anxiousness every day to teach your class. Way to go! —Pam
I just gave a talk on April 10 too! It was on summer bulbs; I was sharing my love of lilies, etc. with a group from our local co-op nursery, Urban Roots.
Fellow gardeners are an easy audience, as I am sure you found. But my fear was this: most of my women (yes,all women) were clearly very experienced. I am sure they knew just as much as me. Though they were very nice.
Congrats on your talk, Elizabeth. I read your post earlier today. Having met you at Spring Fling, I can’t imagine you being afraid of anything. 🙂 —Pam
Congratulations on facing your fear and giving your talk. You should feel so accomplished. Just think this is one of the top fears people have and you conquered it. I have been a very shy person. No one who knows me now believes that but I have a great fear of speaking in public. I worked as an auctioneer for about 12 years so I know how scary it can be to get in front of people and talk. I also have given talks about birds and butterflies. Now that is really scary because I am not an expert about either just an enthusiast. Most people just want to hear what you say. I hope you get more business from the talk. I bet you do. All you have to do is let people see your garden. That should hook em.
Thanks for the supportive comment, Lisa. How interesting that you were an auctioneer. You sound like a real pro at public speaking. —Pam
You know, I had a talk with my grandmother once, she was and had been living alone for many years and I was newly divorced. She gave me a piece of advice I always remember when I’m scared about doing something. She said, “You can stay home and be scared, or leave your house and try something new and be scared. Either way you’re scared, but if you try something new you might at least be having fun while you’re scared.”
Nancy, your grandmother sounds like one very smart lady. —Pam
What did I do this year that scares me? I started a garden blog 😉 I am really an introvert who poses as an extrovert. I am terrified of public speaking and of meeting new people – even in ciber space where one can pose as anyone they want. Putting my thoughts out there was a practice in overcoming my fears and was EXACTLY the reason I did it. I figure you can’t overcome your fears if you don’t face them head on.
Michelle, you took a leap and put yourself out there. Well done! I’ve certainly enjoyed reading your blog, so I’m glad you’re here. —Pam
Pam, just from reading your blog the past few months I figured you’d be a terrific speaker. As you’ve observed, those people in the audience are just people who are interested in plants, same as we are.
I used to get nervous before talks, but now, I’m just fascinated. I regard my presentations as a conversation; first explaining I’m not an expert, just a longtime gardener with a passion for plants, and that I do know some things but not everything. And that I expect to learn from the commenters/questioners too. And we all have a lot of fun. I use humour in my talks (big surprise, I know) and lots of pretty pictures, and stress that if I don’t know the answer to something I will find out for the questioner. I get asked back so must be doing something right.
Sometimes there are grumps or ol’ fuddyduddies who sit there looking sour, but I just picture them in their skivvies and it makes me smile every time. A trick I learned when I used to wait tables in a high end restaurant years ago.;-)
Great tips, Jodi. It’s good to know other gardeners who are doing this too and can offer supportive suggestions. —Pam
I’m not scared of public speaking, but I don’t like it. I got used to speaking in front of groups in my previous life as an HR Manager, as I did a lot of training and presentations.
This spring I’m starting a garden consulting and gardening business. This scares me for a number of reasons, but I’m doing it anyway.
Yes, I know that feeling too, Linda. Don’t worry—I know you’ll do great with your new consulting work. —Pam
Good for you, Pam! You always seem pretty fearless to me (like calling up James David and asking him if a bunch of garden bloggers could come over to see his garden). But I guess it’s a matter of perspective. I do think it’s encouraging to know that things make you nervous and you have to work through them, just as it encouraged you to know that Tom Spencer never quite gets over his nervousness either. Glad to hear it was a success.
Thanks, MSS. I’m glad I come across as fearless, even though I’m not. As far as asking for that garden tour, I’m a big believer in “ask and you shall receive.” James was wonderful to let us visit. —Pam
Wonderful..you did it!! I’ve done lots of scary stuff–not bragging-just living and surviving. The more you do the braver you get and the closer the ground seems when you fall. You will fall even when you get successful. Thomas Edison had a million failures before he saw the light.
So let’s see–hmmmm??? What am I going to do that I fear….
I really only fear failure. My husband says I need to write a book but I’ve never started one cause I fear I can’t get it published. I’m afraid to claim that one…..let me think about it—just talking out loud here.
Giving something serious consideration is the first step. I hope you do write your book one day. Thanks for the supportive comment, Anna. —Pam
Thanks so much for the nice comment Pam. I am really glad your presentation went well. 90% of success is just showing up! So many don’t even bother to show up. They just assume they are “not worthy”. Why bother? You won’t know if you don’t go. Courage, whether its in public speaking, or just living our lives is sadly lacking these days. To be able to stand up and speak in front of a group like you did marks you as a person of courage. The problem (joy) is once you’re marked as a courageous person you’ll be asked to be courageous time and time again. People just love to hear from people who are LIVING!
Great story Pam, you made my day.
Trey, your eloquent post inspired me before my talk, and I’m grateful for your supportive comment here too. I imagine you’ve encouraged many people, not just me. —Pam
I neded to hear this today, Pam! I have a pretty big project that I’ve been procrastinating on due to varying levels of fear … of being overwhelmed, of being rejected, of not having what it takes. I’m putting those thoughts aside and will take a bite out of it this afternoon – my first step. Thanks for the inspiration!
I was an actress for many years before I became a garden designer – I started taking acting classes at 12 because I was painfully shy – and I always suffered from the worst stage fright. When I was studying in college, a director gave me the most valuable advice and it truly unlocked something for me. He said that an audience isn’t an enemy. They are on your side; they want you to do well. Use their positive energy and give it back to them. I was always so afraid of judgment! And after that piece of wisdom, stage fright became a small annoyance rather than a devastating problem.
Oh, and what a tantalizing photo of your passiflora!
Everyone’s sharing their helpful tips and wisdom. Thank you for sharing yours too, Germi! So many times we isolate ourselves when we’re frightened of trying something new. But I’m finding that talking about it gives you a chance to learn from others who’ve been in a similar situation. Many good wishes on your big project. —Pam
Way to go! I like your philosophy. My biggest fear right now is trying to find paying employment again after so long & being competent at it still.
I know that fear too, MMD. Good luck! You’ll find your passion and be great at it. —Pam
Pam – Ah, you’re brave to do it and even braver to write about it here. And now you have such great affirmation from your circle of blog followers. How rewarding it must feel. I like your motto of “do something scary everyday.”
Affirmation is a good thing, isn’t it? I’m grateful for all the supportive comments. —Pam
Hmm, flying on a plane by myself for the second time ever. Meeting dozens of garden bloggers. Wondering if I was good enough. Being sick in the hotel room by myself. All done at the Spring Fling. All conquered. Yea!! (Yes, I caught some stomach virus while in Austin.)
I’ve spoken about gardening once to one of my garden clubs. I was scared, but I knew my subject so I did it anyway.
Lovely post as always. Yea for you for facing your fear. I bet you were splendid. I wish you lived here because you could help me with my foresty front yard.~~Dee
Yes, I think it was probably a scary thing for many of the Spring Flingers, to spend precious money and fly or drive to a strange city to meet a bunch of strangers. I’m so glad you faced that fear down and joined us, Dee. But so sorry to hear about the stomach bug.
It would be great to be your real neighbor instead of just a virtual one, Dee. —Pam
Pam, along with all your other great assets, now it has been shown that bravery, for the Africa trip AND for public speaking, is among them. What a woman! And think what a good role model you are for your kids. Does that affect decisions? My own greatest fear is heights, not sure something can be done for that.
Thank you, Frances. I have a bit of fear of heights too. But acrophobia is one of the easiest phobias to cure. A relative of mine overcame a worsening fear of heights with desensitization therapy. It really worked, so don’t give up hope. —Pam
I’m sure you did a great job. I had a Power Point fiasco last week the day before my presentation at Epcot and I was sweating buckets. Talk about nerves! I’m glad that everything went smoothly for you. I worked my tech problems out, but it was scary!
shirley
That’s really a confidence booster, I bet—to survive a mishap and come through just fine. Way to go! —Pam
Great post! What a wonderful opportunity. It is great that you pushed yourself into new and somewhat feared territory. This is what makes life interesting and keeps us growing! I am presenting at a conference at the end of May, on Community Service Learning, for college educators. I am already nervous. I think I will check out Trey’s book!
On the garden end of things I am getting my garden ready to be on the annual tour here. That is anxiety producing for me as well!
On my blog, I have begun chronicling the Spring emergence of the gardens at Emily Dickinson’s House (museum) which is 2 doors down from me. Stop by for a peek!
Carol
terranovadesign.blogspot.com
Good luck with your conference presentation, Carol, and with your garden tour. Do check out Trey’s advice—not a book, but his thoughts on public speaking, from the point of view of a small business owner trying to grow his customer base. His advice boosted my courage and contained some good tips. —Pam
Hi, Pam! I was one of the attendees at your garden club presentation Thursday night. You did a splendid job and we were all delighted to meet you and to learn more about plants and flowers! It was especially instructive to hear about your personal favorites, and seeing the photos of your inspiring gardens. You came across as a pro–no one would have ever guessed you had any fear of public speaking, that’s for sure. Thanks for giving us your time and expertise. It was MOST appreciated!
Cheers,
Holly
Hello, Holly! How nice to have a comment from you. Thanks for your kind words and for being part of such an appreciative and welcoming audience last Thursday. It was a great experience for me. I hope you enjoy trying out some of the native and adapted plants I recommended. —Pam
I have always found that when you know the subject, it is easy to speak. More difficult for me is relating to an audience. I don’t think you have any problem there.
Yes, when I thought about the talk as simply sharing info about some plants I love to use in my own garden, it took away much of the anxiety. —Pam
Glad to hear your public speaking evening went well. I’ll bet you were fantastic, Pam. Facing one’s fears is a tough one sometimes.
When I think of fear I’m just nerd-enough to think of the ‘Litany against fear’ from Frank Herbert’s ‘Dune’ series: “I will not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will face my fear. I will let it pass through me.” (Okay, so I’m a super-nerd. 😉 )
What am I planning to do that scares me? I suppose that’s not much of a secret to anyone who reads my blog. My son is having spinal surgery on August 4th and I’m about as scared of that as I’ve ever been of anything. Much more scared even than when I had spinal surgery when I was his age. But hopefully I’ll ‘let it pass through me’ so I can be as much of a help for him as possible.
~Dawn
I remember that quote from Dune! Dawn, your son’s upcoming surgery must be very frightening to contemplate. I would be scared too. It must be especially hard because you have so little control over the outcome. But I hope you find reassurance in the knowledge that you’ve done thorough research into his condition and into finding the best surgeon possible. And that you’ve come through the same surgery yourself. Your family will be in my thoughts as you get through this difficult time. —Pam
So happy to hear it went well- I look forward to hearing about it at lunch.
I get nervous about raising my hand to volunteer when I really don’t know what the time commitment will be or maybe I’m not as up to snuff on the issues I’ll work on. But I am learning that people involved are always willing to teach you what you need to know and love it when you show up with a smile and a willing heart.
Great philosophy, Bonnie. It complements Germi’s comment, above, that the audience isn’t your enemy—they want you to succeed. Thanks for reminding us that showing up with “a smile and a willing heart” is the main part of success. —Pam
Good for you Pam! I’ll keep your words in mind next time I’m faced with something scary 🙂
As I did Trey’s. Thanks for your comment, Kerri. —Pam
Although I’ve been teaching nearly 30 years, I’ve only recently begun to be afraid. With the advent of middle age, my total recall has gone on vacation (possibly left behind on that summer in Kenya.) Before this, I could pull up botanical names, organic chemistry, remember the points I needed to cover, and find time to joke. Now, the jokes seem to be about middle age and forgetfullness; and I worry I’ll forget the one thing that would have made the talk a success. Good news is that “one thing” is different for everyone there, and you stand a very good chance of making most of them very happy. Not only that, I’ve found people to be unspeakably kind and understanding. Like you. Keep showing up. Remember, we’re only serving as a bridge for the information passed on to us by others.
Thanks, VBDB. I love the bridge metaphor. Hey, I didn’t know you’d spent a summer in Kenya. I’ll have to find out more the next time I see you. 🙂 —Pam